Different Kind of Easter

(To the tune of "Different Kind of Christmas" by Mark Schultz)

Churches closing everywhere
Schoolrooms shuttered, nothing like it was
The sound of silence fills the air
People are staying safe in their house because

There's a virus running rampant
With terrifying speed
A new global pandemic
Unlike any we have seen
Physical distancing the norm now
Can't let anybody near
It's just a different kind of Easter this year

In the evening TV's on
Reasons to leave are now all gone
The rituals we've come to love
Won't be the same this year in our world because

When so many don't have symptoms
We don't know who's safe or not
And we have to save the good masks for all the heroes that we've got
Still we're missing everybody
And fighting back tears
It's just a different kind of Easter this year

We'll watch a virtual service
And decorate our door
As we try to make this Easter like the ones we've had before
As I think about the story, my heart just fills with pride
Cause I realize what hasn't changed is the fact that He's alive

It's time to look to Jesus with hope knowing He will see us through
Because with who He is that's all that He can ever do
Just because we're not together, doesn't mean He's not near
It's just a different kind of Easter this year

Strange Way to Save the World

(To the tune of 4Him's "Strange Way to Save the World")

I'm sure they must have been surprised
At where this road had taken them
Cause never in a million years
Would they have dreamed of Jerusalem

But standing at Golgatha
They saw with their own eyes
The message that He taught them
Come to life
The disciples said

Why us, we were just simple men of trade
Why Him, this holy man beyond compare
Why here, atop this pile of great decay
Why now, before His message could be shared

Now we're not ones to second guess
What Jesus had to say
But this is such a strange way
To save the world

She thought of how it could have been
If Jesus had ruled as he deserved
There would have been no wooden cross
No angry crowds, no vicious words

But Mary knew the reason
Love had to reach so far
And as she held
The Savior in her arms
She must have thought

Why me, I'm just an ordinary girl
Why Him, my beloved firstborn son
Why here, atop this smelly pile of dirt
Why now, it's like his life has just begun

Now I'm not one to second guess
What our son had to say
But this is such a strange way
To save the world

Police Shot My Dog

(To the tune of "Feliz Navidad")

Police shot my dog
Police shot my dog
Police shot my dog
I feel so bad for my poor, poor dog

Police shot my dog
Police shot my dog
Police shot my dog
I feel so bad for my poor, poor dog

He didn't do anything to anybody
He didn't do anything to anybody
He didn't do anything to anybody
But they shot him anyway

But don't you think that my poor dog suffered
But don't you think that my poor dog suffered
But don't you think that my poor dog suffered
He was shot with a water gun

I Want it My Way

(To the tune of Backstreet Boy's "I Want it That Way")

You are my fire
My one desire
Forgive me when I say
I want it my way

We are a world apart
But I should know Your heart
When you say
That You want it Your way

Tell me why
Ain't nothing but a heartache
Tell me why
Ain't nothing but a mistake
Tell me why
I always seem to say
I want it my way

My heart's Your fire
Your one desire
I know it's never too late
To choose to do it Your way

Tell me why
Ain't nothing but a heartache
Tell me why
Ain't nothing but a mistake
Tell me why
I always seem to say
I want it my way

Now I don't want to fall apart
From the way that it always was
No matter the distance
I want you to know
That deep down inside me

You are my fire
My one desire
You are
You are, You are, You are

I wanna hear you say
Won't ever be a heartache
Won't ever be a mistake
I'll trust you when You say
You have a better way

Tell me why
Ain't nothing but a heartache
Tell me why
Ain't nothing but a mistake
Tell me why
I always seem to say
I want it my way

I know why
It'll never be a heartache
It'll never be a mistake
I know why
I always want to hear You say
You have a better way

You always have a better way

Wrecking Ball (County Fair Edition)

(To the tune of Miley Cyrus's "Wrecking Ball")

To the fair I came, and who could blame
Me for wanting to be fed
I gnawed, I chewed through thirteen pies
But saw them crown you instead

Don't you ever swear you won fair and square
You're a dirty liar
Your hands were not restrained, fingertips are stained
You've sparked an angry fire

I came in like a wrecking ball
So I could win this pie contest
But you put your hands right on the plate
Now I'm gonna throw this pie at you
Yeah I'll throw this pie at you

As that pie left my hands I knew
I never could take it back
But I wasn't alone in wrath
Soon others joined in the attack

Pies were flying high through the sunlit sky
Blueberries all over
More and more pies flew 'til I truly knew
I had to duck and cover

We came in like a wrecking ball
A great food fight was started there
All I wanted was to prove my point
But it got so out of hand

We came in like a wrecking ball
Yeah, we just closed our eyes and flung
Left you covered in blueberry slime
Don't think you'll ever cheat again
Yeah, you won't want to cheat again

I never meant to start a war
I was just so mad you cheated
Although I wanted that medal
It was not something I needed
I never meant to start a war
I never should have thrown that pie
And started this massive food fight

Now I think I'd say I should have walked away
Instead of throwing that pie

I came in like a wrecking ball
I'm just so darn competitive
But instead of throwing pies at you
I should have been willing to forgive

I came in like a wrecking ball
Started something I could not stop
Made a mess of the county fair
And I wrecked everything
Instead of accepting defeat
I wrecked everything

Wreck the Malls

(Written as part of the 2010 Wichita Eagle Parody Contest. To the tune of "Deck the Halls")

Wreck the malls with Black Friday shoppers, Fa la la la la la la la la
Careful or we'll rouse the coppers, Fa la la la la la la la la
Deals and bargains all around us, Fa la la la la la la la la
Crazy people now surround us, Fa la la la la la la la la

Towne East is now under siege, Fa la la la la la la la la
Towne West has not a shred of peace, Fa la la la la la la la la
JC Penney, Sears and Von Maur, Fa la la la la la la la la
Look like they've been run over by a car, Fa la la la la la la la la

At the stroke of five o'clock, Fa la la la la la la la la
Casual shoppers are in for a shock, Fa la la la la la la la la
The gates of Hell hath opened wide, Fa la la la la la la la la
Demons and bandits now streaming inside, Fa la la la la la la la la

Where should I start my search, Fa la la la la la la la la
Better think quick before this lurch, Fa la la la la la la la la
Which item must I have, Fa la la la la la la la la
That's the one I need to grab, Fa la la la la la la la la

Wrecking Ball (Forgiveness Edition)

(To the tune of Miley Cyrus's "Wrecking Ball")

We kissed, I fell under your spell
I thought my new life would begin
Then it got tough, your love's too rough
And I knew that it had to end

Then you tried to say I wouldn't walk away
But you'll never own me
You are dangerous and I couldn't trust
From you I had to break free

I went out like a wrecking ball
I had to get away from you
You promised you would love me well
But your words weren't true
So I had to start anew

You called you texted relentlessly
You begged for a second chance
Couldn't forgive all that you did
In your excuse for romance

Then you tried to say I couldn't stay away
I don't really need you
Your "love" is like a crime and I thought it was time
To teach a lesson to you

I came in like a wrecking ball
So that I could smash your things
You thought your looks would keep you safe
But my vengeance was real

I came in like a wrecking ball
So that you would know the truth
Your hold on me is over now
And I tried to wreck you
I wanted to wreck you

Then tears were flowing from my eyes
Didn't know how I would start again
Then I heard a voice calling out
And asking me to let Him in

I never knew what love looked like
Until He opened up my eyes
And gave to me a brand new life

Jesus came in like a wrecking ball
So that He could win my heart
I didn't think I'd love again
But He proved that it wasn't true

He came in like a wrecking ball
So that He could break my walls
He entered in and healed my heart
Now I'm wrecked for ordinary
With these walls crashing down around me

I'm wrecked for ordinary
His love's taken over me