(Written as part of the 2010 Wichita Eagle Parody Contest. To the tune of "Deck the Halls")
Wreck the malls with Black Friday shoppers, Fa la la la la la la la la
Careful or we'll rouse the coppers, Fa la la la la la la la la
Deals and bargains all around us, Fa la la la la la la la la
Crazy people now surround us, Fa la la la la la la la la
Towne East is now under siege, Fa la la la la la la la la
Towne West has not a shred of peace, Fa la la la la la la la la
JC Penney, Sears and Von Maur, Fa la la la la la la la la
Look like they've been run over by a car, Fa la la la la la la la la
At the stroke of five o'clock, Fa la la la la la la la la
Casual shoppers are in for a shock, Fa la la la la la la la la
The gates of Hell hath opened wide, Fa la la la la la la la la
Demons and bandits now streaming inside, Fa la la la la la la la la
Where should I start my search, Fa la la la la la la la la
Better think quick before this lurch, Fa la la la la la la la la
Which item must I have, Fa la la la la la la la la
That's the one I need to grab, Fa la la la la la la la la
Sunday, December 22, 2013
Friday, November 29, 2013
Wrecking Ball (Forgiveness Edition)
(To the tune of Miley Cyrus's "Wrecking Ball")
We kissed, I fell under your spell
I thought my new life would begin
Then it got tough, your love's too rough
And I knew that it had to end
Then you tried to say I wouldn't walk away
But you'll never own me
You are dangerous and I couldn't trust
From you I had to break free
I went out like a wrecking ball
I had to get away from you
You promised you would love me well
But your words weren't true
So I had to start anew
You called you texted relentlessly
You begged for a second chance
Couldn't forgive all that you did
In your excuse for romance
Then you tried to say I couldn't stay away
I don't really need you
Your "love" is like a crime and I thought it was time
To teach a lesson to you
I came in like a wrecking ball
So that I could smash your things
You thought your looks would keep you safe
But my vengeance was real
I came in like a wrecking ball
So that you would know the truth
Your hold on me is over now
And I tried to wreck you
I wanted to wreck you
Then tears were flowing from my eyes
Didn't know how I would start again
Then I heard a voice calling out
And asking me to let Him in
I never knew what love looked like
Until He opened up my eyes
And gave to me a brand new life
Jesus came in like a wrecking ball
So that He could win my heart
I didn't think I'd love again
But He proved that it wasn't true
He came in like a wrecking ball
So that He could break my walls
He entered in and healed my heart
Now I'm wrecked for ordinary
With these walls crashing down around me
I'm wrecked for ordinary
His love's taken over me
We kissed, I fell under your spell
I thought my new life would begin
Then it got tough, your love's too rough
And I knew that it had to end
Then you tried to say I wouldn't walk away
But you'll never own me
You are dangerous and I couldn't trust
From you I had to break free
I went out like a wrecking ball
I had to get away from you
You promised you would love me well
But your words weren't true
So I had to start anew
You called you texted relentlessly
You begged for a second chance
Couldn't forgive all that you did
In your excuse for romance
Then you tried to say I couldn't stay away
I don't really need you
Your "love" is like a crime and I thought it was time
To teach a lesson to you
I came in like a wrecking ball
So that I could smash your things
You thought your looks would keep you safe
But my vengeance was real
I came in like a wrecking ball
So that you would know the truth
Your hold on me is over now
And I tried to wreck you
I wanted to wreck you
Then tears were flowing from my eyes
Didn't know how I would start again
Then I heard a voice calling out
And asking me to let Him in
I never knew what love looked like
Until He opened up my eyes
And gave to me a brand new life
Jesus came in like a wrecking ball
So that He could win my heart
I didn't think I'd love again
But He proved that it wasn't true
He came in like a wrecking ball
So that He could break my walls
He entered in and healed my heart
Now I'm wrecked for ordinary
With these walls crashing down around me
I'm wrecked for ordinary
His love's taken over me
Friday, July 19, 2013
Need You Now
(To the tune of Lady Antebellum's "Need You Now")
Picture perfect dreams are shattered all across the floor
Reaching for Your Word 'cause I can't fight it anymore
And I wonder if You hear me when I call
And will You catch me when I fall?
It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need You now
And I didn't want to call, but I'm not in control and I need You now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need You now
Alone and brokenhearted, can't stop staring at the sky
Needing Your advice 'cause I can't see the reason why
And I wonder 'bout the plans You have for me
Tell me what's my destiny
Its' a quarter after one, I'm a little lost and I need You now
And didn't want to call, but I'm not in control and I need You now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need You now
You'll give me the strength I need to carry on
It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need You now
And I didn't want to call, but I'm a little lost and I need You now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need You now (x2)
Ooo, Jesus I need You now
Picture perfect dreams are shattered all across the floor
Reaching for Your Word 'cause I can't fight it anymore
And I wonder if You hear me when I call
And will You catch me when I fall?
It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need You now
And I didn't want to call, but I'm not in control and I need You now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need You now
Alone and brokenhearted, can't stop staring at the sky
Needing Your advice 'cause I can't see the reason why
And I wonder 'bout the plans You have for me
Tell me what's my destiny
Its' a quarter after one, I'm a little lost and I need You now
And didn't want to call, but I'm not in control and I need You now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need You now
You'll give me the strength I need to carry on
It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need You now
And I didn't want to call, but I'm a little lost and I need You now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need You now (x2)
Ooo, Jesus I need You now
Sunday, May 19, 2013
Blown Away
(To the tune of Carrie Underwood's "Blown Away")
Dry lightning cracks across her heart
Those storm clouds leave her in the dark
She lost someone she loved so dearly
A confidante and cherished friend
It seems to her the only choice now
Is for her life to end
There's not enough truth to what she's thinking
To take away God's chosen plan
There's not so much pain that she could suffer
To break her heart so it won't mend
Shatter every wall 'til her broken heart's blown away
Every tear, every crack, every wish to die blown away
'Til there's nothing left standing
Nothing left of yesterday
Every tear-soaked suicidal thought blown away
Blown away
Nine years later and she's lost
Her life was saved, but what's the cost?
No man could ever truly love her
If he knew what's deep within
Her past's too full of poison
Her heart too full of sin
There's never too far that she has fallen
To change the fact that she is loved
There's not enough power in all of Hell
To end the plans made from above
Shatter every door 'til her past is all blown away
Every lie, every hurt, every evil thought blown away
'Til there's nothing left standing
Nothing left of yesterday
Every tear-soaked painful memory blown away
Blown away
Blown away, blown away, blown away, blown away, blown away
Dry lightning cracks across her heart
Those storm clouds leave her in the dark
She lost someone she loved so dearly
A confidante and cherished friend
It seems to her the only choice now
Is for her life to end
There's not enough truth to what she's thinking
To take away God's chosen plan
There's not so much pain that she could suffer
To break her heart so it won't mend
Shatter every wall 'til her broken heart's blown away
Every tear, every crack, every wish to die blown away
'Til there's nothing left standing
Nothing left of yesterday
Every tear-soaked suicidal thought blown away
Blown away
Nine years later and she's lost
Her life was saved, but what's the cost?
No man could ever truly love her
If he knew what's deep within
Her past's too full of poison
Her heart too full of sin
There's never too far that she has fallen
To change the fact that she is loved
There's not enough power in all of Hell
To end the plans made from above
Shatter every door 'til her past is all blown away
Every lie, every hurt, every evil thought blown away
'Til there's nothing left standing
Nothing left of yesterday
Every tear-soaked painful memory blown away
Blown away
Blown away, blown away, blown away, blown away, blown away
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
I'm Christian and I Know It
(To the tune of LMFAO's "Sexy and I Know It")
When I look to the sky
People around be askin' why
I sing with abandon
Voice and hands lifted up to Heaven
This is how I roll
Cross 'round my neck swingin' outta control
My sins have become whiter than snow
Like Moses at Sinai, I got the glow
Just look at Genesis
Just look at Exodus
Just look at Deuteronomy
Oh yeah, I mark it up
Just look at the Psalms now
Just look at the Proverbs
Just look at Song of Songs
Oh yeah, I mark it up
When I walk to the street
This is what I see
All the lost people are staring at me
I've got passion for my Savior
And I ain't afraid to show it, show it, show it
I'm Christian and I know it (x2)
When I'm at church
Or down at Family Christian gettin' some merch
I praise my God
Because His creation is full of awe
This is how I roll
'Cause Jesus died to save my soul
I open up the Good Book when I get nervous
And read about the King who came to serve us
Just look at Isaiah
Just look at Jeremiah
Just look at Daniel now
Oh yeah, I mark it up
Just look at Saint Matthew
Just look at Saint John too
Just look at the Acts now
Oh yeah, I mark it up
When I walk to the street
This is what I see
All the lost people are staring at me
I've got passion for my Savior
And I ain't afraid to show it, show it, show it
I'm Christian and I know it (x2)
Check it out
Bible, Bible, Bible, Bible, Bible yeah (x3)
Bible, Bible, Bible, Bible, Bible yeah, yeah
Read the Bible, man
I read the Bible, man
I'm Christian and I know it
Just look at Galatians
Just look at Ephesians
Just look at Philippians
Oh yeah, I mark it up
Just look at 1 Peter
Just look at 1 John too
Just look at Revelation
Oh yeah, I mark it up
I'm Christian and I know it
When I look to the sky
People around be askin' why
I sing with abandon
Voice and hands lifted up to Heaven
This is how I roll
Cross 'round my neck swingin' outta control
My sins have become whiter than snow
Like Moses at Sinai, I got the glow
Just look at Genesis
Just look at Exodus
Just look at Deuteronomy
Oh yeah, I mark it up
Just look at the Psalms now
Just look at the Proverbs
Just look at Song of Songs
Oh yeah, I mark it up
When I walk to the street
This is what I see
All the lost people are staring at me
I've got passion for my Savior
And I ain't afraid to show it, show it, show it
I'm Christian and I know it (x2)
When I'm at church
Or down at Family Christian gettin' some merch
I praise my God
Because His creation is full of awe
This is how I roll
'Cause Jesus died to save my soul
I open up the Good Book when I get nervous
And read about the King who came to serve us
Just look at Isaiah
Just look at Jeremiah
Just look at Daniel now
Oh yeah, I mark it up
Just look at Saint Matthew
Just look at Saint John too
Just look at the Acts now
Oh yeah, I mark it up
When I walk to the street
This is what I see
All the lost people are staring at me
I've got passion for my Savior
And I ain't afraid to show it, show it, show it
I'm Christian and I know it (x2)
Check it out
Bible, Bible, Bible, Bible, Bible yeah (x3)
Bible, Bible, Bible, Bible, Bible yeah, yeah
Read the Bible, man
I read the Bible, man
I'm Christian and I know it
Just look at Galatians
Just look at Ephesians
Just look at Philippians
Oh yeah, I mark it up
Just look at 1 Peter
Just look at 1 John too
Just look at Revelation
Oh yeah, I mark it up
I'm Christian and I know it
Friday, February 22, 2013
I Kissed His Jeep
(To the tune of Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl")
It was my own private dare
A bit of madness
I felt so brave standing there
Without a witness
He doesn't notice me
Thinks I'm just a silly girl
What harm could there be
If I give this a whirl
I kissed his Jeep and I liked it
As the cold metal met my lips
I kissed his Jeep just to try it
I hope he doesn't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
But I'm so in love with him tonight
I kissed his Jeep and I liked it
I liked it
It seems so silly now that I
Think more about it
It didn't change a single thing
I wish I could forget
The way I felt that night
As I did this stupid thing
Now I watch my phone
Wishing it would ring
I kissed his Jeep and I liked it
As the cold metal met my lips
I kissed his Jeep just to try it
I hope he doesn't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
But I'm so in love with him tonight
I kissed his Jeep and I liked it
I liked it
Us girls
We are so vulnerable
We want a man
Who's so wonderful
But all we get
Are wolves in sheep's clothes
We cannot deny it
Why can't we stay so innocent
I kissed his Jeep and I liked it
As the cold metal met my lips
I kissed his Jeep just to try it
I hope he doesn't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
But I'm so in love with him tonight
I kissed his Jeep and I liked it
I liked it
But I wish I didn't
It was my own private dare
A bit of madness
I felt so brave standing there
Without a witness
He doesn't notice me
Thinks I'm just a silly girl
What harm could there be
If I give this a whirl
I kissed his Jeep and I liked it
As the cold metal met my lips
I kissed his Jeep just to try it
I hope he doesn't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
But I'm so in love with him tonight
I kissed his Jeep and I liked it
I liked it
It seems so silly now that I
Think more about it
It didn't change a single thing
I wish I could forget
The way I felt that night
As I did this stupid thing
Now I watch my phone
Wishing it would ring
I kissed his Jeep and I liked it
As the cold metal met my lips
I kissed his Jeep just to try it
I hope he doesn't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
But I'm so in love with him tonight
I kissed his Jeep and I liked it
I liked it
Us girls
We are so vulnerable
We want a man
Who's so wonderful
But all we get
Are wolves in sheep's clothes
We cannot deny it
Why can't we stay so innocent
I kissed his Jeep and I liked it
As the cold metal met my lips
I kissed his Jeep just to try it
I hope he doesn't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
But I'm so in love with him tonight
I kissed his Jeep and I liked it
I liked it
But I wish I didn't
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Welcome
Welcome to my parody blog! Other than this introductory post, everything posted here will be a parody of a popular song, or a rewriting of the song to give it more Christian lyrics. The content of this blog will be a bit less serious than my other one (found at amydawnackerman.blogspot.com), and will also have fewer postings. However, that doesn't mean that I will enjoy writing them any less. I am open to suggestions for songs to rewrite. I love to write, and would enjoy stretching my talents with different types of songs. Any suggestions will be reviewed by me, and if I choose to rewrite it, it will be rewritten and posted as soon as possible. I hope you enjoy reading these parodies as much as I enjoy writing them.
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