Sunday, December 22, 2013

Wreck the Malls

(Written as part of the 2010 Wichita Eagle Parody Contest. To the tune of "Deck the Halls")

Wreck the malls with Black Friday shoppers, Fa la la la la la la la la
Careful or we'll rouse the coppers, Fa la la la la la la la la
Deals and bargains all around us, Fa la la la la la la la la
Crazy people now surround us, Fa la la la la la la la la

Towne East is now under siege, Fa la la la la la la la la
Towne West has not a shred of peace, Fa la la la la la la la la
JC Penney, Sears and Von Maur, Fa la la la la la la la la
Look like they've been run over by a car, Fa la la la la la la la la

At the stroke of five o'clock, Fa la la la la la la la la
Casual shoppers are in for a shock, Fa la la la la la la la la
The gates of Hell hath opened wide, Fa la la la la la la la la
Demons and bandits now streaming inside, Fa la la la la la la la la

Where should I start my search, Fa la la la la la la la la
Better think quick before this lurch, Fa la la la la la la la la
Which item must I have, Fa la la la la la la la la
That's the one I need to grab, Fa la la la la la la la la

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